Escape

My brain starts to race and I can't seem to escape, no way of knowing what's real and what's fake, convince myself that my life has no purpose and I can't win I'll never see it in the colors you see anyway, look at me however I can't control what you think, it matters to me more than this puny existence, can't find the time to work out a reason, the trauma meant for I must be destined this season, wish upon a star never got me a thing, luck passed me by far much long ago, nobody left around to show me the ropes, raising myself I search for seeds of hope, but i can't figure out how or when and why so my brain races until I feel empty inside, lock me up In a padded room so I can be safe now, my mental agony is sure to make me dround, gasping for air because I can't breathe, all the others seem to have it easy, wonder if I'm chosen for what I must ask, to be picked on or taunted or merely look bad, the end in sight provides a light in the dark, because I can't go out wirh no spark