Will I Ever Be Ok

Verse 1]

I wake up every morning

With a war inside my chest.

Another night without you,

Another night without rest.

The silence has a heartbeat,

The walls remember everything.

I keep reaching for a life

That vanished when you left me.

Everyone keeps telling me,

“Time will make it right.”

But time just keeps on moving

While I'm dying every night.

How long can a heart

Stay broken and still beat?

How many pieces of myself

Can I lose before I'm empty?

WILL I EVER BE OKAY?

Will this fucking pain release its hold?

Will I wake up one morning

And not feel so goddamn cold?

WILL I EVER BE OKAY?

Will I find myself beneath these scars?

I don't need to be who I was—

I just need to know

I'll make it this far.

I wear a smile like armor

So nobody sees the cracks.

They ask me how I'm doing,

I say, “I'm getting back.”

But when the night comes crawling

And there's nowhere left to hide,

Every memory I've buried

Comes screaming back alive.

I hate that I still miss you.

I hate that I still care.

I hate that part of me

Still expects to find you there.

Maybe healing isn't forgetting.

Maybe it isn't letting go.

Maybe it's learning how to carry

What I'll never get to hold.

WILL I EVER BE OKAY?

Will this fucking pain release its hold?

Will I wake up one morning

And not feel so goddamn cold?

WILL I EVER BE OKAY?

Will I find myself beneath these scars?

I don't need to be who I was—

I just need to know

I'll make it this far.

I'M TIRED!

I'M LOST!

I'M SICK OF COUNTING

EVERY FUCKING THING I LOST!

BUT I'M STILL BREATHING!

I'M STILL HERE!

EVEN WHEN THE ANSWER

DISAPPEARS!

IF TOMORROW

IS ALL I HAVE—

THEN I'LL FUCKING

FIGHT FOR THAT!

Maybe someday

The memories won't feel like knives.

Maybe someday

I'll laugh and mean it when I smile.

Maybe I won't recognize

The person screaming here tonight.

Maybe healing isn't coming back—

Maybe it's learning how to live

With the fight.

WILL I EVER BE OKAY?

I DON'T KNOW—

BUT I'M STILL ALIVE!

Maybe I don't need the answers.

Maybe I just need to survive.

WILL I EVER BE OKAY?

Maybe not the way I was before.

But if I can wake tomorrow

And take one step more...

THEN I'M NOT FUCKING DONE!

I don't know when this ends.

I don't know who I'll be.

But tomorrow...

I'll still be here.