Still Here

Some nights I just sit in the dark

Like if I move it’ll all fall apart

There’s a voice in my head that won’t shut up

Says I’m not strong, says I’m not enough

I try to drown it out, turn it down

But it keeps getting louder somehow

And I’m tired of fighting myself

Tired of needing help

But I’m still breathing

Even when it feels like I’m barely holding on

I’m not okay, but I’m still here

Still fighting through the noise, the fear

Every part of me wants to run

But I refuse to come undone

There’s a light I can’t always see

But I know it’s somewhere in me

Even when the dark won’t let me start

There’s still a heartbeat in my heart

I’ve gotten good at pretending I’m fine

Saying “I’m good” like it’s not a lie

But the truth is I’m losing sleep

Over thoughts I don’t wanna keep

And I hate how it pulls me down

Makes me feel like I’m gonna drown

But there’s something that won’t let go

Even when I’m low

It keeps saying

“You’ve made it this far, don’t stop now”

I’m not okay, but I’m still here

Still fighting through the noise, the fear

Every part of me wants to run

But I refuse to come undone

There’s a light I can’t always see

But I know it’s somewhere in me

Even when the dark won’t let me start

There’s still a heartbeat in my heart

Maybe I don’t have to win today

Maybe it’s enough I didn’t fade away

Maybe healing doesn’t look like strength

Maybe it’s just making it through the day

And if that’s all I’ve got right now

Then I’ll take it, I’ll figure it out

I’m not okay, but I’m still here

Still louder than the doubt I hear

I’ve been breaking, I’ve been bent

But I’m not gone, I’m not spent

And that light I couldn’t see

It was never gone from me

Even when it felt too hard

It was beating in my heart

I’m still here…

And maybe that’s enough for now