Five Eejits and a Bowl of Stew

[Verse 1]
Two girls in a cottage
Too small for their shoes
Three cats on the counter
Planning fresh bad news
One tom on the breadboard
One tom in the sink
The queen on the table
Kicks over my drink (hey!)
[Chorus]
Five eejits and a bowl of stew
Two with thumbs
And three that meow at you
We’re tripping over tails in this mad house zoo
Five eejits and a bowl of stew (hey!)
Five eejits and a bowl of stew
[Verse 2]
I’m chasing the stripey one
He’s chasing my sock
You’re trying to Zoom call
She’s chewing the cord block
The queen steals your pillow
Then coughs in your shoe
We’re late
We’re out of coffee
But there’s hair in the brew (ugh!)
[Chorus]
Five eejits and a bowl of stew
Two with plans
And three that ignore you
They own the chairs
We just pay the dues
Five eejits and a bowl of stew (ooh-woo!)
Five eejits and a bowl of stew
[Bridge]
[stomp-clap vocal beat]
You say
“No more cats!”
They stare like
“Sure.”
I say
“Early night!”
Someone yowls at the door
We swear this circus
Is the last we’ll do
Then we see a sad kitten
And we both go “…two?” (uh-oh!)
[Chorus]
Five eejits and a bowl of stew
Two half-sane
And three in full-time crew
If chaos is a church then this is the pew
Five eejits and a bowl of stew (hey!)
Five eejits and a bowl of stew (one more!)
Five eejits and a bowl of stew

folk, Fast, rowdy Irish pub energy built from stacked female vocals only: tight unison lead, call-and-response gang shouts, and rhythmic mouth percussion in place of drums. Verses bounce like a reel with quick-fire storytelling; chorus explodes into a sing-along chant with claps, stomps, and laughter layered as texture. Occasional mock “fiddle” and “pipe” lines done as playful vocal riffs, ending in a big held harmony and a cheeky spoken tag., irish folk, female vocals