Trauma

I DON'T WANT TO LIVE AND I DON'T WANT DIE, 
CAUSE IF WERE DIE MY POOR WIFE WILL CRY 
AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE TEARS FALL FROM HER EYES 
THAT'S WHY I’LL ALWAYS STAND BY HER SIDE.

BUT THERE'S SOME DAYS I WANT TO BE ALL ALONE 
NOT OPENING THE DOOR, NOT ANSWERING THE PHONE 
IT WOULD BE JUST ME IN MY HEAD,
THINKING THAT WORLD WOULD BE BETTER OFF IF I WAS DEAD.

ONE TWO THREE, ONE TWO THREE, DRINK,
STARING IN THE MIRROR, TEARS FALL IN THE SINK.
PLEASE SHUT MY MIND, I DON'T WANNA THINK
IF MY FAMILY WAS A CHAIN. I'M THE BROKEN LINK

WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I WAS PUSHED TO THE SIDE,
WHEN MY SISTER WAS BORN, AND I DIDNT KNOW WHY.
WAS TOLD AS A BOY, I SHOULD NEVER CRY,
IT WAS THAT DAY, IT WAS ME MYSELF AND I

CHILDHOOD TRAUMA, DON'T HIT MY MOMMA
I WAS ONLY NINE, GETTIN IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR DRAMA
THEN YOU LEFT US FOR ANOTHER BABY MAMA, 
CAUGHT YOU CHEATIN AFTER MOM HAD YOUR DAUGHTER,

NOW MAN OF THE HOUSE AT THE AGE OF NINE,
LIVIN IN THE PROJECTS TAKING CARE OF MINE,
AVOIDING GANGS, AVOIDING NICKELS AND DIMES,
I ALWAYA TRIED TO BE A GOOD BOY, STAYING IN LINE.  

NOTHING REALLY MATTERED, IT WAS ALL ABOUT THE GIRLS, 
THERE WERE DAYS I FELT ALL ALONE IN THIS WORLD.
NO MOM NO DAD, NEVER GOOD ALL BAD,
NOT ALLOWED TO BE SAD. BUT THEY WERE ALL I EVER HAD.

BUT WHY MOM? I NEED A HUG TODAY. 
IM NOT GOING TO HUG YOU CAUSE YOULL TURN THE OTHER WAY. 
HOW ABOUT YOU DAD? CAN YOU TAKE ME TO A GAME?
CANT LEAVE THE STORE SON, MAYBE ANOTHER DAY.  

THAT NEVER HAPPENED, HE NEVER LEFT THE STORE,
I EVEN OFFERED MONEY TO WALK OUT THAT DOOR,
STILL HE CHOSE HIS STORE OVER HIS SON.
NEVER IN MY LIFE I FELT LIKE I WAS NUMBER ONE. 

PEOPLE WILL TRY AND SAY THAT IT WILL BE OK,
NOT KNOWING THE PAIN I FEEL EVERY SINGLE DAY,
AND I KNOW THAT THEYRE TRYING TO BE A GOOD FRIEND,
BUT WHAT THEY ALL DONT KNOW THAT TODAY MAY BE THE END.

Rap opera, male