(Verse 1)
Flashback, ninety-something, little bitty knee-high
Down in Puerto Rico underneath the tropical sky
Visiting Abuela, yeah, the food was hitting right
But the backyard danger kept me up at night.
See, I was a mischievous kid, I liked to poke the bear
Or poke the hen, rather, threw some pebbles in the air
Thinking I was the king of the coop, running the block
Until one angry Mama decided to stop the clock.
She had a red comb, eyes black as a hole
Looking at my soul like she wanted complete control
I poked her once, she didn't flinch, she just stared
The "Pecker of Death" was loaded, locked, and prepared.
She let out a squawk that sounded like a war cry
Came running at my ankles, man, I thought I was gonna die!
I’m screaming "Mami! Mami! Save me from the beast!"
I don’t wanna be the main course at the poultry feast!
Dust kicking up, I’m sprinting through the dirt
Scared of a bird in a oversized t-shirt!
(Chorus)
I got chased by a chicken, man, I hit the gas
Feathers flying everywhere, hauling my… bass!
Zero to sixty when the beak comes down
Fastest thing moving in this whole dang town.
It ain’t about the size of the dog in the fight
It’s about a three-pound bird giving you a fright.
Yeah, chased by a chicken, don’t you laugh at me
That’s top-tier barnyard security!
(Verse 2)
Fast forward twenty years, now I’m grown and tall
Living in the States, thinking I had seen it all
Down in Sanford, Florida, rural side of the tracks
Just walking with the wifey, trying to relax.
Passed a wire fence, old farm, quiet place
Then I saw a familiar demon stare me in the face
Another chicken, mean-mugging, standing by the gate
Looking at us like she controlled our fate.
Now, full disclosure, and this might be the reason
We had KFC last night, extra herbs and seasoning
She smelled the Colonel Sanders on my breath, I swear
She wanted vengeance for her ancestors right then and there!
She lowered her head, wings out like a jet
The scariest nugget that I ever met
She charged the fence line, man, we didn’t wait around
My wife screamed "Run!" and we tore up the ground!
Back to the whip, fumbling with the keys
While that dinosaur bird was snapping at our knees
We jumped inside, locked the door, safe and sound
I looked out the window as she held her ground.
She looked me in the eye, gave a little cluck
Lifted one wing up—I swear she didn't give a… pluck.
She flipped me the bird with a primary feather
Man, birds and me just don't go together!
(Chorus)
I got chased by a chicken, man, I hit the gas
Feathers flying everywhere, hauling my… bass!
Zero to sixty when the beak comes down
Fastest thing moving in this whole dang town.
It ain’t about the size of the dog in the fight
It’s about a three-pound bird giving you a fright.
Yeah, chased by a chicken, don’t you laugh at me
That’s top-tier barnyard security!
Juni
