Chased by a Chicken

(Verse 1)

Flashback, ninety-something, little bitty knee-high

Down in Puerto Rico underneath the tropical sky

Visiting Abuela, yeah, the food was hitting right

But the backyard danger kept me up at night.

See, I was a mischievous kid, I liked to poke the bear

Or poke the hen, rather, threw some pebbles in the air

Thinking I was the king of the coop, running the block

Until one angry Mama decided to stop the clock.

She had a red comb, eyes black as a hole

Looking at my soul like she wanted complete control

I poked her once, she didn't flinch, she just stared

The "Pecker of Death" was loaded, locked, and prepared.

She let out a squawk that sounded like a war cry

Came running at my ankles, man, I thought I was gonna die!

I’m screaming "Mami! Mami! Save me from the beast!"

I don’t wanna be the main course at the poultry feast!

Dust kicking up, I’m sprinting through the dirt

Scared of a bird in a oversized t-shirt!

(Chorus)

I got chased by a chicken, man, I hit the gas

Feathers flying everywhere, hauling my… bass!

Zero to sixty when the beak comes down

Fastest thing moving in this whole dang town.

It ain’t about the size of the dog in the fight

It’s about a three-pound bird giving you a fright.

Yeah, chased by a chicken, don’t you laugh at me

That’s top-tier barnyard security!

(Verse 2)

Fast forward twenty years, now I’m grown and tall

Living in the States, thinking I had seen it all

Down in Sanford, Florida, rural side of the tracks

Just walking with the wifey, trying to relax.

Passed a wire fence, old farm, quiet place

Then I saw a familiar demon stare me in the face

Another chicken, mean-mugging, standing by the gate

Looking at us like she controlled our fate.

Now, full disclosure, and this might be the reason

We had KFC last night, extra herbs and seasoning

She smelled the Colonel Sanders on my breath, I swear

She wanted vengeance for her ancestors right then and there!

She lowered her head, wings out like a jet

The scariest nugget that I ever met

She charged the fence line, man, we didn’t wait around

My wife screamed "Run!" and we tore up the ground!

Back to the whip, fumbling with the keys

While that dinosaur bird was snapping at our knees

We jumped inside, locked the door, safe and sound

I looked out the window as she held her ground.

She looked me in the eye, gave a little cluck

Lifted one wing up—I swear she didn't give a… pluck.

She flipped me the bird with a primary feather

Man, birds and me just don't go together!

(Chorus)

I got chased by a chicken, man, I hit the gas

Feathers flying everywhere, hauling my… bass!

Zero to sixty when the beak comes down

Fastest thing moving in this whole dang town.

It ain’t about the size of the dog in the fight

It’s about a three-pound bird giving you a fright.

Yeah, chased by a chicken, don’t you laugh at me

That’s top-tier barnyard security!