[Verse 1]
Dianna
I know this ink will shake when you unfold it
Sand in every crease
I hear the sirens in the distance while I hold it
They say we might move out tonight
They don’t say who ain’t movin’ back
I tape your pictures to the wall
So I don’t stare into the black
Jess
You still draw on the margins?
Hearts and horses on your math page
I’m missin’ every little moment
While this desert keeps me trapped in the same day
Connie
Tell me ’bout your spelling tests
And how you always overthink ’em
Emily
You’re too young to read this yet
But one day you’ll feel every sentence I’ve written
I ain’t a hero
I’m a kid that grew up scared
Wrote my name on dotted lines
’Cause I was lost
I was angry
I was unprepared
But somehow I became your shelter
A shaky roof in a hard rain
I failed a lot before I met you
You made me wanna change my name
[Pre-Chorus]
There’s a photo in my pocket
You on that porch in July
Every time the ground shakes under me
I kiss it like it’s still alive
If I don’t step through that front door
If they fold this flag instead of me
I need you to hear this now
’Cause I might never get to speak
[Chorus]
If this is my last letter home
Read it slow so it lasts a little longer
Tell my girls their dad was scared
But he stayed when the fear got stronger
Tell Jess I kept her bracelet on
Till the dust turned it from pink to gray
Tell Connie every time I prayed out here
It was your names that I would say
Hold Emily when she asks
Why her daddy never called her name
Say I loved her like I knew her face
Even if I never got to see that day
If this is my last letter home
Don’t let my memory just be a folded flag
When they say I gave my life for this
Tell ’em
Really
I gave it all for you back home I never had
[Verse 2]
Dianna
I remember your voice
On that payphone on my first night
You tried to hide the tremble in it
I tried to act like I was alright
You said
“Come back better
Not broken”
I laughed it off like I was tough
But every time the sky exploded
I whispered
“God
I think I’ve had enough”
I’m sorry for the holes I punched in walls
Before I ever wore this uniform
Sorry for the nights I left you cryin’
Drunk and distant
Ragin’ at the storm
I came here thinkin’ I’d redeem that man
Trade my guilt for some kind of pride
But I just found out courage isn’t loud
It’s layin’ awake
Shakin’ in the dark
Still stayin’ in the fight
Jess
Don’t chase my shadow
Don’t enlist to fix my sins
You don’t owe this country what I owed myself
You ain’t gotta bleed to feel like you belong in your own skin
Connie
When the world feels heavy
You can put it in a song
Not a rifle
Let the words be your weapon
Let your kindness be your title
Emily
If you find this when you’re older
And the pages start to fall apart
Know every second I had left
I spent it writin’ you inside my heart
[Pre-Chorus]
There’s a necklace in my duffel
With your initial on a chain
If a stranger ever brings it to you
Know I whispered all your names
If I don’t walk off that tarmac
If your tears hit that wooden pew
Promise me you’ll live a bigger life
Than anything I ever knew
[Chorus]
If this is my last letter home
Read it slow so it lasts a little longer
Tell my girls their dad was scared
But he stood when the fear got stronger
Tell Jess I kept her bracelet on
Till the dust turned it from pink to gray
Tell Connie every time I prayed out here
It was your faces I would trace
Hold Emily