I Was Just Chillin’ (The Spider’s Side)

I was just chillin’ on a wheel, takin’ in the breeze,

Mindin’ my business, feelin’ at ease.

Had a long day spinnin’ webs, just tryin’ to rest,

Didn’t know I parked myself inside a human stress test.

They were laughin’, talkin’, playin’ it cool,

Then one spotted me—and broke every rule.

Two humans SCREAMED, flung the doors wide,

And jumped out that parked car like it was a wild ride.

Like, whoa—what did I do?

I didn’t bite, didn’t crawl on you!

I’m just a spider, small and meek,

And now I’m trending on “Freakout of the Week.”

I ain’t evil, I pay my rent in flies,

So why’d y’all act like I’m twelve feet wide?!

I was just vibin’, livin’ my dream—

Next thing I know, I’m the star of a scream!

Then in he came—The One With The Tissue.

Big bro swagger, like “I’ll handle this issue.”

I froze in fear—this is not what I planned—

Dude came in like Spider-Busters, napkin in hand.

One flick later, I’m airborne and free,

Flung into the wind like, “WHY ME?!”

I wasn’t gonna crawl, wasn’t gonna bite—

Just needed a break from the porch light.

Man, come on—what did I do wrong?

You act like I’m part of a horror song.

I didn’t even move! I was playin’ it safe,

But y’all acted like I broke into your place.

Can’t a spider just have a wheel to nap?

Instead, I got evicted with a dramatic slap.

All I wanted was peace and a shady spot,

Didn’t know I’d trigger a human onslaught!

Look, I get it—y’all don’t like my kind,

But I eat the bugs you really mind.

Mosquitoes? Gnats? I take those out!

But one look at me and you’re full of doubt.

So next time you scream and take off runnin’,

Remember I wasn’t even comin’!

I ain’t no villain, no creepy threat—

Just a tiny ol’ spider tryin’ to reset.

Your brother’s cool, I’ll give him that,

But I still think you overreacted flat.

I was just chillin’, not lookin’ for strife…

Y’all jumped out a parked car—I feared for my life!

Next time maybe just honk the horn or somethin’, jeez.