[Verse 1]
Well I was doin' 23 in a 25 zone
Sippin' on a Slurpee, mindin’ my own
Then the lights lit up like a disco show
Now I'm cuffed in the back like a real outlaw, whoa!
They said, “Boy you look suspicious, wearin' shades at night”
“You got a smirk on your face and that don’t sit right”
Next thing I know I’m booked and bailed
Charged with smilin’ — first-degree failed!
[Chorus]
'Cause the badge gets heavy when there’s nothin’ to do
You've got eight county cops watchin’ cows chew
They’ll lock you up just to kill some time
Make you pay a fine for a victimless crime
It’s a small-town game with a badge and a frown
Where the long arm of the law just swings around
They say justice is blind, but she’s got a twitch
In this one-stop-sign town, she’s a petty little bitch!
[Verse 2]
My cousin Jimmy had a runny nose
Dropped his allergy pills on his girlfriend’s clothes
Deputy Dan sniffed around the scene
Said, “Looks like meth — somethin’ mean!”
Held it up like it was contraband
It was Claritin-D — not what he planned
But he pulled out a bag and said, “It turned blue”
“You ain’t got no dope, so I planted it on you”
Then the scanner beeped and the cuffs went snap
They said, “We got our guy—time for a nap!”
[Bridge]
They said, “What’s this here? Looks like dust in a bag?”
I said, "That's donut crumbs....you over caffeinated “hag”
Now I’m in a jumpsuit, waitin' on trial
For the crime of sneezin’ with a country smile
[Verse 3]
Now I’m sharin’ a cell with a guy named Dwight
He got twenty years for flyin’ a kite
Too close to the mayor’s BBQ bash
While they drank their beers and lit up some hash
Then they drove home and had a big crash
But guess who’s locked up? Not the mayor’s trash
Meanwhile the chief’s out back... polishin’ his badge
With a six-pack cooler and a federal stash
And the only real crime in this here zone
Is runnin’ outta folks to throw them stones!
[Breakdown – spoken/sung]
This town's got one street, three stoplights
And a jail busier than a virgin on prom night
They’ll strip you butthole naked before they let you go
Beware of the cop…with a bruised ego
(Chorus-style singing)
So if you’re passin’ through, don’t make a grin
Don’t sneeze, don’t dance, don’t litter, don’t sin
They’ll cuff your shadow just to get hard
Then jerk each other off in the mayor’s front yard — rough!
Post your mugshot …one every hour
So f**k the police….. and their abuse of power.
GuitarStrap420
