To Wake Up

[Verse 1]
I been staring at the ceiling fan
Counting all the times I almost ran
From this body, from this town
From the voice that keeps me down
If pain is school then I got straight A's
Same four walls, just different days
They say "it gets better", I say "when?"
'Cause I been on empty since like 10
[Chorus]
What if the purpose is to break first
To crack wide open, to taste the hurt
What if the point of all this dirt
Is learning how to carry a heart that burns
I don't wanna be here, not like this
But maybe there's a door inside the abyss
What if the purpose of this cursed life
Is to wake up, not to say goodbye
[Verse 2]
I learned every single coping trick
Every quote, every page, every ancient script
Tried faith, tried pills, tried staying sick
Tried love, it just slipped through my grip
If this is a test I'm over it
If this is a joke, I don't get it
If I'm just dust, then let me float
Why's every breath feel like a throat-cut note
[Chorus]
What if the purpose is to break first
To crack wide open, to taste the hurt
What if the point of all this dirt
Is learning how to carry a heart that burns
I don't wanna be here, not like this
But maybe there's a door inside the abyss
What if the purpose of this cursed life
Is to wake up, not to say goodbye
[Bridge]
What if "leaving" ain’t a jump, it’s a shift
Not a fall off the edge, but a lift
What if waking up is staying
One more night, still shaking (still shaking)
Calling out, even when it feels dumb
Letting someone answer when you go numb
What if the bravest thing I could ever try
Is living through the urge to die
[Chorus]
What if the purpose is to break first
To crack wide open, to taste the hurt
What if the point of all this dirt
Is learning how to carry a heart that burns
I don't wanna be here, not like this
But maybe there's a door inside the abyss
What if the purpose of this cursed life
Is to wake up, not to say goodbye

rap, Melancholic emo rap over airy pads and deep, detuned bass. Male vocals, close-mic and confessional. Verses stay sparse with distant piano stabs; hook swells with layered harmonies and subtle vocal chops. Drums drag slightly behind the beat, with a late-snare feel that emphasizes the weight of each bar; final chorus strips back to almost acapella, then fades on a single echoed line., emo