[Verse 1]
I'm really missing Chuck Norris, now that he's gone away,
He kept the ninja population down back in the good old days.
Now they're hiding in the produce aisle and sneaking through the mall,
You can't buy a loaf of bread these days without a ninja brawl.
[Chorus]
I'm really missing Chuck Norris, he kept the ninjas scared,
One look from him and half of them would vanish in thin air.
Now they're popping out of nowhere, multiplying by the score,
Things weren't like this back when Chuck was walking through the door.
[Verse 2]
Got bruises and a sprained-up knee at the gas station last week,
A ninja jumped behind the pumps and swept me off my feet.
The clerk just shrugged and rang me up and said, "That's number three today."
I bought some ice and limped back home and wished Chuck was still around.
[Chorus]
I'm really missing Chuck Norris, he kept the ninjas scared,
One look from him and half of them would vanish in thin air.
Now they're popping out of nowhere, multiplying by the score,
Things weren't like this back when Chuck was walking through the door.
[Verse 3]
Went to the movies with a date to see a western on the screen,
But when the lights went down I swear there must've been fifteen.
They stole my drink, they stole my seat, they nearly got my corn,
I barely made it out alive and my favorite shirt got torn.
[Chorus]
I'm really missing Chuck Norris, he kept the ninjas scared,
One look from him and half of them would vanish in thin air.
Now they're popping out of nowhere, multiplying by the score,
Things weren't like this back when Chuck was walking through the door.
[Verse 4]
My little boy came home one day all scraped from head to toe,
Said some ninja kid at recess put him in a chokehold.
My wife went to his softball game to cheer him from the stands,
Half the other team were ninja brats with throwing stars in hand.
[Bridge]
The mayor says it's under control, but I know that's a lie,
I saw three ninjas in the church choir and one hanging from the sign.
The dog won't go out after dark, the cat stays under chairs,
Even Grandma carries binoculars and checks the roof for spies.
[Final Chorus]
I'm really missing Chuck Norris, he kept the ninjas down,
Back when Chuck was on the job you hardly saw one around.
If anybody finds him, tell him we could use him here,
'Cause the ninja population's growing every single year.
[Outro]
Yeah, things weren't like this when Chuck was still around...
Back then the ninjas knew better.
ElCeviche
