I Learned to disappear

I learned to disappear quietly

So no one would notice the sound

Of my heart giving up little pieces

Every time I let someone down

I folded my feelings smaller

Until they fit under my skin

I told myself “this is normal”

Like breaking was something to win

There’s a hole where my name should feel steady

Where I used to know who I was

Now I look at old photos and wonder

How I ever smiled because

I miss the version of me

That believed I mattered somehow

That thought being loved was a promise

Not a hope that wears out

People say time is forgiving

But it just teaches you how

To live with the weight of remembering

What you don’t have now

I talk to the ceiling at night

Because it never walks away

I ask it why loving so deeply

Always ends this way

I gave everything I had

Until there was nothing left

Now I’m exhausted from holding

A pain I never addressed

If you asked me how I’m doing

I’d lie without thinking twice

Because explaining the truth

Feels worse than paying the price

I’m not asking for saving

Or for someone to stay

I just wish it didn’t hurt this much

To exist every day

Some nights I feel so replaceable

Like I was easy to lose

Like my absence was simple

Like I was never chosen

I learned to disappear quietly

Because being seen hurt more

But even invisible people

Still feel everything they’re ignored