End of my daze

I finally found a way through the maze. Walked into the light through the haze. Was that my life? I'm still amazed. That made it this far. Just living my life day to day. Still I must say. I'm not afraid. My debt to the devil has finally been paid.

I still find it hard to believe

That person I see. Came up from the comedowns, always blasted. Looking rundown.

Joined the carnival, and became a clown.

Painted a smile to hide my frown.

Still look at what I have done. No told me that an life looks like this. I'm used to being beat up chewed on and spit out. As soon as I took the paint off and realized I'm not the clown. There's more to life I've found. Never again to be held down. In a carnival freak show.

Note to self. Are you not glad you stopped all the fighting. Igniting pleasures always combining the love and trust that your used to hiding. Look at me now I found the silver lining. It finally came down to change and good timing. My last dose I take will be when I'm to old and doped to know I'm in the hospital bed dying. My families around and everybody is crying. A celebration of life and the truths that I was hiding. Sobriety wasn't a choice but just a phase. That brought me to the end of better days. Again I walk through the haze and enter the maze. As it's come to be my end of days.

I still find it hard to believe

That person I see. Came up from the comedowns, always blasted. Looking rundown.

Joined the carnival, and became a clown.

Painted a smile to hide my frown.

Still look at what I have done. No told me that an life looks like this. I'm used to being beat up chewed on and spit out. As soon as I took the paint off and realized I'm not the clown. There's more to life I've found. Never again to be held down. In a carnival freak show.

I still find it hard to believe

That person I see. Came up from the comedowns, always blasted. Looking rundown.

Joined the carnival, and became a clown.

Painted a smile to hide my frown.

Still look at what I have done. No told me that an life looks like this. I'm used to being beat up chewed on and spit out. As soon as I took the paint off and realized I'm not the clown. There's more to life I've found. Never again to be held down. In a carnival freak show.