⸻
don’t read this out loud
it listens when you do
⸻
i tried to count my breaths again
but they started counting back
1
2
3
no
not numbers
names
mine
over
and over
and over
until it didn’t sound like mine anymore
⸻
there’s a wet sound in the walls
like something thinking
too close
⸻
i pressed my ear against it
bad idea
it pressed back
⸻
Someone keeps opening the door
but i don’t see them enter
just the after of them
like reality lags
or i do
⸻
my shadow isn’t syncing
it twitches when i’m still
i stopped looking at the floor
⸻
something is wearing my thoughts
i can feel it trying them on
stretching them
tearing them
deciding which ones fit
it likes the bad ones
it keeps those
⸻
“you’re improving”
who said that
who keeps saying that
stop saying that
⸻
i found words under my tongue
i don’t remember thinking
i swallowed them anyway
now they’re moving
⸻
don’t think about your pain
don’t
don’t picture it
don’t feel it
why can i feel it
⸻
it’s not supposed to feel like that
⸻
i scratched my arm to check if i’m still…
something came out
not blood
not right
too dark
too slow
it moved up
⸻
i think my body is confused
i think i gave it the wrong instructions
⸻
there’s a version of something in the corner again
but it’s closer now
it doesn’t blink
i don’t think it needs to
⸻
it mouthed something
i felt it in my throat
⸻
“switch”
⸻
no
no no no
⸻
they strapped me down earlier
or i dreamed that
or i’m still there
or i never left
⸻
time keeps folding
i keep landing on the same second
it tastes like metal
⸻
i tried to scream
but something caught it halfway up
now it’s stuck
i can feel it vibrating
in my chest
like it’s waiting
⸻
for what
⸻
i’m writing this with hands that don’t feel owned
if you’re reading this
check your hands
make sure they’re still yours
⸻
because mine
aren’t listening anymore
⸻
the walls are closer now
not physically
just… more certain
⸻
they know something
they’re waiting
like i’m about to do something
or become something
or stop pretending
⸻
i can hear the something breathing
in sync
out of sync
in sync
out of sync
⸻
we’re not agreeing
⸻
“just let go”
no
“just let go”
no
“just—”
⸻
its louder
⸻
i think i got quieter
⸻
if i stop thinking
does it stop
or does it get all of me
⸻
i forgot what i was trying to hold onto
there was something important
a name
a reason
a—
⸻
…
⸻
don’t come here
⸻
if you do
don’t answer when it says your name
⸻
i did
⸻
and now
⸻
i don’t know which one of us did
⸻
…
⸻
the door just opened
no one walked in
but something sat down
⸻
on my bed
⸻
it breathes like me
⸻
i’m going to stop writing now
before it learns how
⸻
(last line scratched, unreadable)
extraexotic67
