Hating life

I used to wake up chasing daylight through the blinds

Now the morning feels like noise I leave behind

Coffee gets cold on the edge of the sink

Another whole day disappearing while I blink

And I know the world still turns outside

Cars keep moving, people fall in love at night

But I’m standing still somewhere between

Too tired to fight, too awake to sleep

Friends keep calling, say they miss the old me

I laugh on the phone so they don’t hear the pain

Every little dream I carried in my hands

Turned into smoke I can’t hold again

I haven’t opened my curtains in days

Sunlight feels violent anyway

There’s bottles and ash all over the floor

I don’t even care enough to clean anymore

My friends stopped asking if I’m alright

Guess even pity has a limit

And honestly, I can’t blame them now

I barely feel human anyhow

I think something inside me died

When i got sober and I just let it hide

Now I walk around like a corpse in clothes

I Smile on command so nobody knows

Every day hurts in the exact same way

Wake up exhausted, rot all day

And I just wanna die

I just don’t wanna be alive

I hear my phone ring through the walls sometimes

But every voice sounds dead on the other side

Everybody talks like there’s something to save

While I just dig deeper into my grave

I stopped answering calls from my mom

‘Cause I know she hears what I’ve become

A burned-out shadow she don’t recognize

With bloodshot dreams and dead-ass eyes

I get nightmares when I finally sleep

Got guilt so heavy it fucking bleeds

And every mirror in this house

Shows somebody I can’t talk about

Maybe this is all I’ll ever be

A caution sign nobody reads

A cracked rib cage full of smoke

Still somehow breathing, still somehow broke So if I disappear one night

Don’t act shocked, don’t ask why

Some people fade so slow

Nobody notices they go