I learned how to walk with the weight in my veins
How to laugh through the lightning crawling in my brain
Every “you look fine” cuts deeper than knives
’Cause no one sees the wreckage underneath my eyes
I wear camouflage made of practiced grace
While my body burns like a house with no escape
And every morning feels the same
Wake up tired, pray I can make it through the day
And I’m so sick of saying
“I’m okay”
Just so nobody sees me break
So I paint on a static smile
While my body ignite inside
Every step feels like a mile
But I’m afraid to let them see me dying
I’m screaming in a silent room
Holding heaven by a thread
If I told the truth about this pain
Would you still see me the same?
My reflection looks alive enough to fool the crowd
But my hands shake when nobody’s around
And every day feels like another funeral
Another piece of me becoming unreachable
I miss who I used to be
Before survival became my identity
[Breakdown — screamed vocals style]
YOU DON’T SEE THE WAR INSIDE
EVERY DAY I WAKE UP
AND PUT ON A FACE
PRETEND IM OKAY
So I paint on a static smile
While my nerves ignite inside
Tell me how I’m meant to live
When my mind won’t let me survive
I’m exhausted from pretending
I’m stronger than I am
if I fall apart completely
Would anybody understand