[Verse 1]
Wake up, feelin older than I am
Twenty-three, but my body feelin slammed
Purple in the cup, tryna blur my brain
Same old habits, tryna drown the pain
Scrollin through the texts I left on read
Family worried, say I’m losin in my head
They don’t get this war I never chose
I just let that poison keep me froze (yeah)
[Chorus]
I feel like goin back to the old me
Pourin up strong so I don’t feel lonely
Say I don’t care, let it all fall slowly
If I crash out now, they gon’ say “told me”
I’m only twenty-three, thinkin ’bout quittin on me
Heart so heavy, tryna hide it in the codeine
If I let go, who gon’ really ever know me?
I feel like goin back, goin back to the old me (old me)
[Verse 2]
I been stuntin for a timeline I hate
Smiles for the story, then I’m starin at my plate
Haven’t touched food, but I’m sippin like it’s nothin
Tellin everybody I’m straight, I’m bluffin (yeah)
Homies in the ground, I still see they face
Every time I pour, it’s like I taste they fate
Tell myself “one more,” then I rinse, repeat
I’m so tired of losin pieces of me
[Chorus]
I feel like goin back to the old me
Pourin up strong so I don’t feel lonely
Say I don’t care, let it all fall slowly
If I crash out now, they gon’ say “told me”
I’m only twenty-three, thinkin ’bout quittin on me
Heart so heavy, tryna hide it in the codeine
If I let go, who gon’ really ever know me?
I feel like goin back, goin back to the old me (old me)
[Bridge]
What if I live long enough to heal? (yeah)
What if there’s a version of me that’s real?
If I give up now, that’s all they’ll see
Just a faded kid that never got free
[Chorus]
I feel like goin back to the old me
Pourin up strong so I don’t feel lonely
Say I don’t care, let it all fall slowly
If I crash out now, they gon’ say “told me”
I’m only twenty-three, beggin God “don’t quit on me”
Heart so heavy, I been hidin in the codeine
If I hold on, maybe I can really know me
I’m tryna leave behind, leave behind the old me (the old me)