If I fade

I don’t feel right when I’m alone
Too many thoughts in my head like stones
I smile outside but I break inside
Try to run but I can’t hide
Every night feel the same damn loop
Same dark room, same mental bruise
I say I’m good but I don’t mean that
I been losing parts I can’t get back

I gave my trust and it turned to pain
Same mistakes in a different name
Everybody leave when it gets too real
Tell me why I don’t know how to heal
I reach out but it never lands
Like I’m talking with shaking hands
No reply so I fall back in
To the place where I always been

I been down, I been low
Lost my mind but I don’t show
Say I’m fine but that’s a lie
I still wonder why I try
Every day just feels the same
Wake up tired, chase the pain
Even sleep don’t feel like rest
Just a break before the stress

If I fade, would you notice me?
Or just move on so easily
I scream loud but it stays unheard
Drowning out in my own words
I don’t need much, just peace of mind
Something real I can’t rewind
But it slips right through my hands
Like I never had a plan

They see me laughing, think I’m okay
Don’t know the weight I carry each day
I keep it locked behind my face
But it’s tearing up every space
I don’t talk much, I just observe
Let the silence bend and curve
Even love don’t feel the same
It just echoes out my name

I been trying but I’m stuck still
Heart don’t work how it used to feel
Every hope just fades away
Before it even sees the day
I been numb but I still feel pain
Like it’s running through my veins
I can’t tell what’s real or fake
Everything just starts to break

If I break, don’t fix me now
Let me learn how to drown somehow
I been lost but still I roam
Searching for a way back home
But home don’t feel like it used to be
Just memories I can’t believe
So I sit with my own head
Talking to the things I said

Sometimes I wish I could restart
Erase the weight inside my heart
But there’s no reset, no rewind
Just the scars I leave behind
So I walk through empty days
In a haze I can’t escape
Hoping one day I’ll feel whole
Before I lose what’s left of soul

If I fade, don’t chase me down
Let me sink into the sound
I been tired for way too long
Still I write it in this song
Maybe someone hears this pain
And feels less alone again
If that’s all I really do
Then maybe I made it through

Emotional melodic rap: raw pain vocals, soft guitar, reverb space, rage breaks, X-style vulnerability, minimal drums, da