If I fade

I don’t feel right when I’m alone

Too many thoughts in my head like stones

I smile outside but I break inside

Try to run but I can’t hide

Every night feel the same damn loop

Same dark room, same mental bruise

I say I’m good but I don’t mean that

I been losing parts I can’t get back

I gave my trust and it turned to pain

Same mistakes in a different name

Everybody leave when it gets too real

Tell me why I don’t know how to heal

I reach out but it never lands

Like I’m talking with shaking hands

No reply so I fall back in

To the place where I always been

I been down, I been low

Lost my mind but I don’t show

Say I’m fine but that’s a lie

I still wonder why I try

Every day just feels the same

Wake up tired, chase the pain

Even sleep don’t feel like rest

Just a break before the stress

If I fade, would you notice me?

Or just move on so easily

I scream loud but it stays unheard

Drowning out in my own words

I don’t need much, just peace of mind

Something real I can’t rewind

But it slips right through my hands

Like I never had a plan

They see me laughing, think I’m okay

Don’t know the weight I carry each day

I keep it locked behind my face

But it’s tearing up every space

I don’t talk much, I just observe

Let the silence bend and curve

Even love don’t feel the same

It just echoes out my name

I been trying but I’m stuck still

Heart don’t work how it used to feel

Every hope just fades away

Before it even sees the day

I been numb but I still feel pain

Like it’s running through my veins

I can’t tell what’s real or fake

Everything just starts to break

If I break, don’t fix me now

Let me learn how to drown somehow

I been lost but still I roam

Searching for a way back home

But home don’t feel like it used to be

Just memories I can’t believe

So I sit with my own head

Talking to the things I said

Sometimes I wish I could restart

Erase the weight inside my heart

But there’s no reset, no rewind

Just the scars I leave behind

So I walk through empty days

In a haze I can’t escape

Hoping one day I’ll feel whole

Before I lose what’s left of soul

If I fade, don’t chase me down

Let me sink into the sound

I been tired for way too long

Still I write it in this song

Maybe someone hears this pain

And feels less alone again

If that’s all I really do

Then maybe I made it through