[Intro – Spoken, with attitude]
🎺 Hear ye, hear ye! Forget the glass slipper,
This prince wants a glass of something thicker.
[Verse 1]
In a castle so glittery, way up on the hill,
Lives a prince who’s a bottom — and honey, he’s thrilled.
The princesses sigh, “Oh, marry me, please!”
But he’s down in the stables on both of his knees.
[Pre-Chorus]
He don’t want a queen, he don’t want a gown,
He just wants a knight who will pin him right down!
[Chorus]
The prince is a bottom, the bards wrote it twice,
He likes his fairytales naughty, not nice.
Forget about dragons, forget magic charms,
He’s looking for love in a knight’s hairy arms.
[Verse 2]
At the royal ball, he’s not eyeing the pearls,
He’s checking out butts in the line of the earls.
The kingdom all gasps, “Oh lord, what a sight!”
When he shouts to the guards: “Who’s topping tonight?!”
[Pre-Chorus]
He’s not into ruling, he’s not into war,
Unless it’s a roleplay behind bedroom doors!
[Chorus]
The prince is a bottom, it’s canon, it’s true,
He’s bowing for nobles in chainmail and blue.
His crown’s on the nightstand, his tights on the floor,
This fairytale ends with him begging for more!
[Bridge – spoken/sassy]
Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who’s the bendiest prince of them all?
…It’s me, bitch. 💅✨
[Final Chorus]
The prince is a bottom, the trumpets all play,
He moans “Happily ever after” all day.
So lift up your goblets, the kingdom will cheer,
For the big ole bottom we’re crowning this year!