Drop

Drop, drop, I feel ima drop.

Pop, pop, the pillys I can’t stop.

Cough, cough, the blood I have to mop.

Hop, hop, I need to sit still and watch.

Sometimes I feel like that I am a failure.

No wonder why I couldn’t stay sober.

ADHD hard to concentrate, no motivation hard to participate.

A lot of addicts I can relate, so dramatic, drugs piled on my plate.

I’m drowning in my feels, I can’t escape.

I lost my training wheels, lost in my own way.

This is my time to get it right, drug dreams, dreaming that I’ll die.

I wanna survive so I can live and thrive.

I don’t want the drugs reflecting in my eyes.

Drugs were getting in my way, I blamed myself every fucking day.

I cry on inside every moment I’m awake, I would lie about the shit I’d say.

So drop, drop, I feel ima drop.

Pop, pop, the pillys I can’t stop.

Cough, cough, the blood I have to mop.

Hop, hop, I need to sit still and watch.

I sometimes get reminded how bad I was, it was never an excuse to fill myself with drugs.

I’ll take the responsibility, I was a peace of shit for months.

I’m still a shitty person, I still believe that because my past says a lot of the kind of person I was.

Some people still see me as a stick in the mud.

Shoot me down, riddle me with bullets from a gun and watch my body hit the pavement covered in blood.

Don’t cry just wish me luck, if I die I know some won’t give a fuck.

They probably think why do I say this stuff, I’ll tell you why it’s because it so hard to live but harder to give up.

Probably wondering what happened to the positivity, I won’t lie it’s just the way that I’ve been feeling.

I’m chemically imbalanced especially with my thinking.

I sometimes sit in silence, staring up at the ceiling.

Trust me or don’t, it’s depressing looking at the stuff I wrote.

I can’t help it but cry into my notes, sometimes wishing I should have overdosed.

So hard to push forward, I try not to think backwards.

Negativity takes me but I try to push it outwards, with the way I am I feel that I am a coward.

If I do die please bury me with flowers.

I am sorry, you don’t have to forgive me unless it makes you feel better then by all means please let go if it makes your life more peaceful.

I’ll always be thankful even though it’s painful.

I’ll let my demons drag me down by my ankles.

Face Satan even though I feel resentful, but it’s not my choice, can’t win a losing battle.

I drop, I drop, I feel like ima fucking drop.

I pop, I pop, I don’t do it anymore because I couldn’t fucking stop.

I cough, I hop, even though I can’t breathe I’ll still sit still and watch.