Mama thought I’d marry Jenny, down on County Road 9
But I spent more time admiring her brother’s jawline and that big juicy ass
Tried to talk about football, tried to act real tough
But every time he flexed his arms, man, that was enough
Oh and the size of his cock, damn
[Pre-Chorus]
I should’ve known years ago, looking back it’s clear
The signs were lined up brighter than the Christmas lights each year
Big bulge in my pants
Finishing to a picture of men over the toilet
[Chorus]
Well, turns out I’m gay, what more can I say?
All the puzzle pieces finally fell into place
I thought I wanted her, but that wasn’t the case
Now I’m laughing at myself every single day
‘Cause turns out I’m gay and I want dick in my ass
3 men or more
[Verse 2]
My buddies said, “Who’s your celebrity crush?”
I named three movie stars a little bit too much
They all looked around and said, “We’ve got some news…”
I said, “What?” They said, “Buddy, how did you miss those clues?”
Shit idk man
[Pre-Chorus]
I guess denial ain’t a river, though I swam it for a while
Now every awkward memory just makes me crack a smile
How did I miss it? I think about sucking dick on the daily or taking it in the ass
[Chorus]
Well, turns out I’m gay, what more can I say?
All the warning signs were waving in my face
The rainbow practically followed me from place to place
Now I’m laughing at myself every single day
‘Cause turns out I’m gay
And I want him and him and him
[Bridge]
I bought a motorcycle, grew a beard, lifted weights
Thought somehow that would magically change my fate
But no amount of flannel shirts or pickup trucks I drove
Was gonna stop me from thinking Ryan was handsome at the rodeo
[Final Chorus]
Well, turns out I’m gay, surprise, hooray!
Took me way too long to figure it out anyway
My friends all said, “Yeah, we’ve known since eighth grade.”
I said, “Really?” They said, “Buddy, we thought you knew too!”
Now we’re laughing all day
[Outro]
So here’s to being honest, here’s to being me
And here’s to everyone who saw it years before I could see. 🎵😆