Black shirt Sunday

You taught me how to tie my shoes
How to hide when I’m bruised
Said, “Stand tall, don’t let them see”
Guess that lesson stuck with me
Your house still smells like soap and tea
Like you’ll walk out any minute, smiling


They keep talking, I tune it out
I don’t know how to say this out loud


Black shirt Sunday
Church bells in my chest
Everyone says you’re resting
But I’m not at rest
I’m standing quiet
Like you raised me to
Hands in my pockets
Trying not to break in two
Black shirt Sunday
You’re slipping away
And I don’t know how
To be okay


Hospital lights, too clean, too white
You look smaller than you did in life
I hold your hand, it’s paper-thin
Still the safest place I’ve been
I crack a joke, you squeeze my thumb
Like you know what I’m running from


They say, “Be strong, you’re the man”
I don’t think they understand


Black shirt Sunday
Machines breathe for you
I’m counting seconds
Trying not to lose
I’m smiling politely
Like boys are taught
Don’t cry here
Don’t make it awkward
Black shirt Sunday
I’m watching you go
Losing the only
Home I’ve known


If heaven’s real, you better wait
I still need you to say my name
I wasn’t ready to be the one
Who carries on when you’re done


They shake my hand, say “She lived well”
That doesn’t help, but I nod anyway
Your voice still lives inside my head
Every “be brave” you ever said


Black shirt Sunday
You’re gone, but you stay
In the way I stand
In the words I say
I’ll live louder
Like you asked me to
But every win
Still belongs to you
Black shirt Sunday
I let you go
But I’ll carry you
Everywhere I go


If I make you proud
I hope you see
I learned how to be a man
From loving you
And losing you

Dark pop, male vocals, acoustic guitar