Untitled

Alarm clock crying at half past three,
Walls feel closer when it’s just me.
Mirror talks but I don’t reply,
I’m so good at living, just bad at why.
There’s a bottle shaking in my hand,
Little white promises I don’t understand.
They say this will help, this will heal,
But nothing they give me feels real.


Doctor says I’m doing “fine,”
But fine just means I’m still alive.
I nod my head, I fake the smile,
Counting seconds, not the miles.


So I take my pills and I lie awake,
Waiting for my heart to break or break its pace.
They numb the pain but not the ache,
I’m still drowning, I just float in place.
If this is getting better, tell me when it starts,
’Cause I take my pills but I still fall apart.


Friends say, “Call me if it’s bad,”
But it’s always bad, just dressed up sad.
I don’t wanna be a weight they carry,
So I swallow silence, chase what’s necessary.
Every thought’s a loaded gun,
Every night I come undone.
I’m tired of being “almost okay,”
Tired of praying I’ll feel a different way.


I read the label, line by line,
Side effects sound just like my mind.
May cause tears, may cause sleep,
May cause losing parts of me.


So I take my pills and I lie awake,
Waiting for my heart to break or break its pace.
They numb the pain but not the ache,
I’m still drowning, I just float in place.
If this is getting better, tell me when it starts,
’Cause I take my pills but I still fall apart.


I don’t wanna die, I just don’t wanna feel,
Every day’s a wound that won’t heal.
If hope’s a drug, I’m out of supply,
And faith tastes bitter when you try.
I’m scared one day I’ll miss a dose,
And find out who I am the most—
Is it me or chemistry
Holding what’s left of me?


So I take my pills like a daily prayer,
Hands shaking, hoping someone’s there.
I follow the rules, I do my part,
Still hear the echo in my heart.
If I’m still here, does that mean I’m strong?
Or just really good at holding on?
I take my pills…
But the nights are still too long.

Bottle’s empty, sun comes up,
Another day, I fake the tough.
If healing’s real, I’ll wait my turn—
Just tired of hurting while I learn.

Male vocals, desperate, rock