The Port Royal Surprise

(Verse 1)
I spied a fine lass with a wiggle and grace,
With a veil of silk lace to cover her face.
I bought her a rum and I sang her a song,
And I figured that nothing could ever go wrong!
(Chorus)
Oh, heave away, boys, but watch where you steer,
Things aren't always quite as they appear!
With a wig on the table and boots on the floor,
I’ll never go drinking on land anymore!
(Verse 2)
I took her back home for a bit of a lark,
And we got rather cozy there in the dark.
But when she reached out for to loosen my belt,
I was stunned by the heavy iron grip that I felt!
(Chorus)
Oh, heave away, boys, but watch where you steer,
Things aren't always quite as they appear!
With a wig on the table and boots on the floor,
I’ll never go drinking on land anymore!
(Verse 3)
She kicked off her heels and she stood six-foot-four,
Then she spit a tobacco-plug onto the floor.
She pulled off her bonnet and what did I see?
A beard just as bushy and black as the sea!
(Chorus)
Oh, heave away, boys, but watch where you steer,
Things aren't always quite as they appear!
With a wig on the table and boots on the floor,
I’ll never go drinking on land anymore!
(Outro)
It was Barnaby Bill in a velvet gown,
The hairiest sailor in all of the town!

Gravelly lead, beer-clinking percussion, boisterous male choir, raw vocal texture, seafaring humor