Bend Over and Take the Cash (Monopoly Edition)
Verse 1
Welcome to the board, where the dice are gold,
Oligarchs set the rules, and the pieces are sold.
Just pass “Go” and collect your stash,
The GOP’s in the pocket—bend over and take the cash.
Chorus
Bend over and take the cash,
Billionaires buying up every last pass.
Hotels on Boardwalk, the rent’s set high,
Republican tokens just roll on by.
Verse 2
Super PACs stack up, the money flows free,
Citizens United made it easy as can be.
Foreign funds sneak in, but no one asks,
Just keep the dice rolling—bend over and take the cash.
Verse 3
From Russian loans to tech tycoons,
The rules are bent for the billionaire’s tunes.
If you want to win, just pay to play,
Democracy’s the price—watch it slip away.
Verse 4
Now there’s Trump coins for sale, just a click and you’re in,
No name, no trace, let the laundering begin.
Oligarchs and strangers, from Moscow to Shanghai,
Buy your influence quietly—no questions, just buy.
Verse 5
They’re drawing up deeds, eyeing Gaza for hotels,
A beachfront “Riviera,” where the highest bidder dwells.
Chance or Community Chest, which card will you play?
A reconstruction plan, or just more rent to pay?
Deals behind closed doors, fortunes made on sand,
Property cards traded with a sleight of hand.
Luxury tax for some, but for others, it’s a steal—
Gaza’s just another square in their real estate wheel.
Bridge
Draw from Chance or Community Chest,
Will you get a bailout or pay off the rest?
Get Out of Jail Free—wave it with pride,
While the J-6 sleeper army waits outside.
J-6 sleeper army, for sale to the bold,
We pay to prepare, let the secrets unfold.
They played their cards, stormed the board, took the test,
And cashed in their Get Out of Jail Free from Community Chest.
Chorus
Just keep your mouth shut, open your pocket wide,
We’re not here for stock tips, just enjoy the ride.
Pump and dump the market, let the little guys crash,
It’s all part of the game—bend over and take the cash.
Bridge 2
Watch the tokens trade hands, fortunes made overnight,
Manipulate the market, keep it out of sight.
If you want to play, you know the only rule:
Stay silent, play along, let the billionaires rule.
Final Chorus
Bend over and take the cash,
Stack the deck, ignore the backlash.
In this board game for the upper class,
The rest just watch as the winners amass.
Outro
So spin the wheel, roll the dice,
In Oligarch-opoly, there’s always a price.
If you want a seat, just play along—
Bend over and take the cash, that’s the song.