Platinum Drinking

“Pl-Pl-Platinum… Wait, What?”

(A Bud Light Platinum Confusion Song)

Verse 1

I took a sip of that Pl— Pl— Pl—

Plati— Plati— Plas-tinum?

My tongue said “nah,” my brain said “yah,”

My knees said “sit down, you bum.”

Pre‑Chorus

I tried to say “cheers,” but it came out “chairs,”

Tried to say “beer,” but I said “bear.”

Now Auntie looking at me like,

“Boy, you okay or you need air?”

Chorus

Bud Light Platinum got me stutt— stutt— stutt—

Stuttering like my WiFi low.

I tried to sing “Håfa Adai,”

But it came out “Håfa… uh… halo?”

This drink got me mixing up words,

Talking like my mouth got lag.

Bud Light Platinum hit me so fast,

Even my thoughts need a paper bag.

Verse 2

I tried to say “I’m fine,” but it came out “I’m fried,”

Tried to say “one more,” but I said “goodbye.”

I meant to call my cousin Nate,

But I FaceTimed some random guy.

Bridge

Why my tongue doing backflips?

Why my brain buffering slow?

Why I telling the karaoke machine

“Sorry for everything… bro.”

Final Chorus

Bud Light Platinum got me stutt— stutt— stutt—

Stumbling like my flip-flop broke.

I tried to say “I’m not drunk,”

But it came out “I’m not… joke?”

Auntie shaking her head like,

“Eh, this one’s finished already.”

Bud Light Platinum too strong,

Even the can feels heavy.