Coping with loss

Taking some time to think, I don't know how to feel, all I know is that this pain is vert real. I've cries and cried, why do people have to die?left alone amd feeling empty, trying to hold myself together it's harder then I thought amd nobody else seems to relate, I miss my best friend, I just want him back. I don't know hownto handle this pain and not a single soul understands. We only get one chance to live, so why would u go and waste it, I couldn't imagine a pain that deep but I'd take it all on myself if it meant saving you, he'll, I'd give up anything for just 5 minutes with you, didn't realize it had gotten that bad, and I'm sitting fucking sad. I feel so empty without you, you stole a giant peice of my heart, you tool it with u when u left thus world, now my world will never be the same, and I feel somewhat to blame, like I failed as your friend, now this is the end, this isn't how it was suppose to be, what about all out plans to live a better life? We were suppose to get sober you were my rock, but you left me here alone to face this world without you, so Manu things I should have told you but now it's too late, someday I'll meet you at that gate, until that day comes the rest of the world moves on while I stand still and grieve, I love you jack Benjamin, can't wait until.i see you again