Fearful Me

Everybody thinks I’m fine ‘cause I smile when I speak

But they don’t hear the war goin’ wild in my sleep

I’m twenty-four with a title, still feel obsolete

Got a job, got a future, still tired of me

Bills on the dresser, prayers on delay

Faith in my chest but I run from the pain

They say, “You’re blessed,” yeah I know what they say

But guilt hits harder when you feel this way

Adopted heart, broken home, learned to be strong

Now I overthink every word, every tone

Tryna be a man, tryna lead, tryna cope

But my head feels crowded and I’m stuck in the smoke

Grandma’s voice in my mind sayin’ “slow down”

Life was loud, I missed signs, now I break down

I replay moments like I could rewrite fate

Carry blame like it’s proof that I loved too late

I pray for peace but my thoughts wanna race

Fear grabs the wheel, puts my soul in a chase

I tell myself “breathe,” yeah I try, okay

But silence is loud when you’re wired this way

Fear in the backseat yellin’ “you ain’t enough”

Sayin’ “look at your past, you already messed up”

I hit the brakes, still feel it clutchin’ my lungs

Heart on my sleeve, yeah I bleed when it cuts

Some days I’m strong, other days I collapse

I win round one, then I lose it right back

But I’m still here fightin’, yeah I’m still on my feet

Fear don’t own me — he just talks when it’s quiet in me

They tell me “budget better,” like I don’t already know

Every dollar got a name, still none of ‘em stay home

Young AGM, they don’t hear what I say

‘Cause age on my face makes ‘em question my place

I joke at work just to keep it all light

“Billy Badass” when I snap — yeah I laugh, but it bites

‘Cause confidence cracks when you’re carryin’ doubt

And you lead everybody while you’re bleed­ing out

I love hard, that’s a blessing and curse

I see forever but I question my worth

I wanna ring, wanna home, wanna family tree

But fear says “don’t move, you’ll ruin everything”

Church songs in my ears, tryna quiet the noise

Tryna be a man, not a scared little boy

Temptation knocks late when I’m tired and weak

Then shame shows up askin’ “is this really you, Levi?”

I got faith and fear livin’ under my skin

One says “stand tall,” one says “don’t let ‘em in”

I’m not faithless, I’m human, there’s a difference, okay

I just trip when the dark tries to mimic my name

Fear in the backseat yellin’ “you ain’t enough”

Sayin’ “look at your past, you already messed up”

I hit the brakes, still feel it clutchin’ my lungs

Heart on my sleeve, yeah I bleed when it cuts

Some days I’m strong, other days I collapse

I win round one, then I lose it right back

But I’m still here fightin’, yeah I’m still on my feet

Fear don’t own me — he just talks when it’s quiet in me

Who am I when the lights go out?

Who am I when I strip success down?

Am I loved or just tolerated?

Am I chosen or just accommodated

I see my parents proud, but I brush it away

‘Cause I don’t trust good things when my head’s in the way

I feel everything deep yeah it scares me to death… I’m scared to death…