Fear v Me

I can’t sleep. A lot on my mind, a lot to do and so little time to do it. Looking to the future with big dreams, big ideas, big things not far out of reach. New place to live, living with someone I want to marry. Someone I want to spend the rest of my life and all eternity with. Flustered and anxious about everything. Is it a mistake, is it the right choice? Do I put a ring on her? Is it too early? Would it be weird? Would everyone care about my decision or would everyone scoff and make fun of me? I’m not perfect, I’m emotional for a guy, especially at my age, I’m filled with sadness, depression and rage. Grandma, I wish I could have invited you over for dinner, all those years you cooked for me, I’m old enough to return the favor. Wish you could be at the future wedding, meet the bride. I hope you’re proud of me. I’m not proud of myself, I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. I lost the fight to fear even though I’m filled with it. I couldn’t get up before the count, I was down for the count, took a few uppercuts and jabs, a haymaker to the face, I’m battered and bruised while fear took the wheel and started to cruise. I got my dukes up and ready to swing, I think I know how to win. I’ll wake up and fight with everything I have, we’re not boxing and fear is gonna tap