El Paso born, Santa Fe rain
Dust in my lungs, I grew up with pain
Seventeen, California came
Thought distance would wash my shame
Anaheim kids with my heartbeat eyes
Still remember the day I told them goodbye
Costa Mesa mornings, sun too bright
Feels like God keeps showing me my life
Had a wife named Elise, that love ran deep
Like roots in the desert, buried, asleep
Addiction came and poisoned the creek
I drowned in the water I swore I would keep
Heather came later like fate got bored
A new kind of love I did not ask for
Eight months carrying my unborn son
While I’m trying to learn how to not run
I treated her wrong, I know that’s mine
Thought silence was strength, turned out it was pride
She packed her bags, Alabama sky
I stayed here wondering why I was the guy
Who breaks what he loves, without even trying.
[Hook] (melodic heartbreak)
Late night drives in the cold wind
Radio low cause my mind’s loud again
Too much love I don’t know how to carry
Too much pain I don’t know how to bury
God, if you hear me, just show me where to go
I done lost so much I got room to grow
Don’t count me out in this life I chose
I’m still here
I’m still here.
[Verse 2]
My boy Tennessee died in the heat
Overdose took him right off his feet
I saw his ghost by my storage last week
I swear he was trying to talk to me
Like, “Bro slow down, take care of your soul
You been breaking hearts but you still not whole.”
I looked at the sky like God, I know
I just never learned how to let things go
Life got heavy, I ain’t built perfect
I just built stubborn and I just keep working
I want grace but I gotta earn it
I want forgiveness but I gotta deserve it
Elise still lives in the core of my chest
Heather holds a child that’s half of my breath
There are nights I cry and nights I confess
To a ceiling fan spinning like life and death
People think love is a movie scene
They don’t know the part where you fall apart unseen
They don’t know the nights I prayed on my knees
Hands shaking, begging God, please.
[Hook]
Late night drives in the cold wind
Radio low cause my mind’s loud again
Too much love I don’t know how to carry
Too much pain I don’t know how to bury
God, if you hear me, just show me where to go
I done lost so much I got room to grow
Don’t count me out in this life I chose
I’m still here
I’m still here.
[Verse 3] (this is where the listener cries)
Maybe one day my kids will ask
Dad why you always ran from the past
Why you say you loved but you loved too fast
Why the good things slipped through your hands like sand
I’ll tell them the truth, I won’t hide my scars
I’ll show them the cracks in my heart like art
I’ll tell them sometimes loving is hard
And sometimes you learn too late where to start
I ain’t ashamed of the roads I took
I ain’t ashamed of the pages I shook
My life is a scripture God never overlooked
I’m still getting written in His holy
LueLie
