You Saw my Story

I told myself I wouldn’t look tonight

Wouldn’t let your name crawl back into my life

But there I was at 2AM again

Half drunk, blue light, holding onto ghosts with both hands

And it’s pathetic, yeah I know it is

The way one little notification hits

Like somehow after all this time apart

A tiny piece of you still reaches through the dark

You probably tapped right past it without thinking twice

Meanwhile I’m staring at my phone like it saved my fucking life

God, what happened to me?

I used to be somebody

Now every small thing you do

Feels catastrophic

You saw my story

And now I can’t sleep

'Cause for one second it felt like you were here with me

Like maybe you still stop when my name lights up your screen

And I hate that I still care this much

Hate that one view tears me open up

But your silence hurts less

When I know you still look for me

Fuck

You saw my story

I almost posted something just for you

Some sad song lyric only we’d read through

Something subtle enough to hide behind

But obvious enough to say “you’re still on my mind”

And all my friends say

“Man, just let her go”

Like hearts work simple because mouths say so

But they didn’t see the way you held my face

Like losing me would break you too someday

Now I replay every second of us back

Trying to find the exact moment we cracked

And maybe you were just bored

Maybe it meant nothing at all

But you have no idea

How hard my chest hit the floor

You saw my story

And now the whole night burns

One little sign from you and suddenly the wound returns

Like every mile between us disappeared for just a wordless second

And I know this sounds insane

But after all this time you still affect me the same

One view from you

And I’m right back inside the wreckage

Goddamn

You saw my story

Do you still hover over photos of me too?

Do you still reread texts when the night cuts into you?

Do you still hear my voice in every city crowd?

Or am I just some old scar you don’t think about now?

Because I tried

I swear to God I tried

To become somebody you could leave behind

But every version of healing felt fake somehow

So I stayed bleeding where you left me

You saw my story

And now I miss you worse

Because hope is such a cruel thing after someone hurts

You don’t realize how little it takes

To bring a dying heart back to life

Just one stupid view

One second of you

And suddenly I’m unraveling at 3AM

Like you never left

Like I still live inside your head

And maybe I always will

I almost messaged you tonight

Instead I watched your name sit there online

And honestly?

I think that hurt more.