(Record scratch)
(Beat drops- slow, sinister bassline)
Yo, grab a seat, this tale is twisted
A family tree with a branch that's blistered
We got an uncle,let's call him "Ears"
A selfish son of a bitch,reducin' the whole clan to tears.
Verse 1
He lurks in the shadows,a human draught
Catchin'whispers and secrets, sellin' the info he bought
Got a PhD in eavesdroppin',a master of snoop
Usin'private conversations to stir the damn soup
It's all abouthim, his wants, his needs
Plantin'his narcissistic, inconsiderate seeds
He'll smile to your face,then turn and he'll twist it
A self-centered snake,you just can't resist it.
Chorus
Oh,Uncle Eavesdrop, you a piece of work
A thievin',bamboozlin', selfish-ass jerk
You smile like a saint,but it's all a facade
Stealin'from Grandma to buy a new goddamn car!
Yeah,you heard me right, it's a low-down shame
A villainous plot,playin' a heartbreak game.
Verse 2
Now here's the real crime,the ultimate sin
He's been pilferin'from Nana's stash with a cheesy-ass grin
Lifted her cash,her bonds, maybe a precious old ring
To fund a slick ride,a desperate offering
He bought Julie a Honda,a crimson-red coupe
Thinkin'that material things would make his love loop
But Julie had plans that didn't involvehim
She saw his weak character,his spirit so grim.
Chorus
Oh,Uncle Eavesdrop, you a piece of work
A thievin',bamboozlin', selfish-ass jerk
You smile like a saint,but it's all a facade
Stealin'from Grandma to buy a new goddamn car!
Yeah,you heard me right, it's a low-down shame
A villainous plot,playin' a heartbreak game.
Verse 3
So Julie got the keys,gave a sweet little smirk
Took that car for a spin,left you doin' all the work
She drove straight to Cody's,the guy you despise
Popped the clutch and she vanished right under your eyes
You bought the getaway car with your own grandma's dough!
The ultimate karma,a devastating blow
You bamboozled yourself,you thief, you fool
Left lookin'stupid, sittin' there cool.
Outro
So now you're alone,with nothin' but the sound
Of the secrets you stole from the family ground
You robbed your own blood,you twisted and lied
And the woman you bought just went for a ride.
You're a lesson in karma,a cautionary tale
Your selfish house crumbled,your own plan set to fail.
Uncle Eavesdrop...you played yourself.
(Beat fades out)