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Got a lot to give

With this heart I mean

But this Iife I live

Won't let me dream

Of a house that seems

to be filled with a wife and family

Ive been my own enemy

Mentally been getting worse

Won't be long before I volunteer to whip the hearse

My happiness built on lies

The truth was unveiled

Now I'm face to face with my true self

Who will prevail

Never was one to tell tales

But jealous of these ppl living fantasies

Quick to run from love been a tendency

Living with these demons

But these tenants see

A man they could use

And I let em cause whats the use?

I'm not blind to em since we reached a truce

I ain't tryna hang any longer so cut the noose

And Bury me with the love that you've rarely showed

Even in death I wanna collect the debt you owe

So

Not saying my mother and sisters plus the children

aren't enough to numb this feeling

But I guess greed is something men can't avoid so if lords willing

To keep me living I'd like to gamble with this hand I'm dealing

I've seen the best of days

Just to be taken by these thoughts

And the toll taken on this road ive paved

Got me feeling it was all for nought

Never spoke on whats been Illin me

Just wrote down what I felt would be healing me

Expressing what's been Killin me

Ain't exactly Been the remedy

And if it's a sign of my time

Then all I could ask for is a chance to seem my children shine

Never had a son or daughter

But the kids I've known is enough so why bother

Even so I'd wondered if Id be like my father