**[Verse 1]**
I keep a loaded silence in my left hand
And a hollow promise in my right
I tell myself I'm armed and ready
But I'm just surviving the night
The first weapon is forgetting
The second is knowing I'll never forget
I swing between the two like a pendulum
And I haven't landed yet
**[Chorus]**
My secret weapon is I have two secret weapons
One to keep you close, one to let you go
One to believe the lie you're telling
One to know the truth you'll never show
I keep them both loaded and ready
But I never know which one to use
So I hold them both together
And I lose, and I lose, and I lose
**[Verse 2]**
The first weapon is my optimism
The conviction that this time will be different
The second is my memory
The evidence that it won't
I aim one at the future
I aim one at the past
And I stand here in the present
Watching both of them blast
**[Bridge]**
I've been collecting weapons my whole life
But I've never learned how to fight
I just like the way they feel in my hands
The weight of being prepared
For a war that never comes
Or maybe already did
**[Chorus]**
My secret weapon is I have two secret weapons
One to keep you close, one to let you go
One to believe the lie you're telling
One to know the truth you'll never show
I keep them both loaded and ready
But I never know which one to use
So I hold them both together
And I lose, and I lose, and I lose
**[Outro]**
(Sparse, almost whispered)
The first weapon is I still care
The second is I know I shouldn't
And I'm not sure which one is going to kill me first
(Pause)
Maybe that's the point
(Drone fades to silence)
extra_unbearable
