Bought a boat thinkin’ life was a lake day dream
Cold drinks, tan lines, girls all on the scene
Then the payments hit harder than the summer heat
Five hundred at the marina just to park the thing all week
Insurance due, batteries dead
Trailer tire blown and the motor light red
Spent twelve grand just to ride six times
Now I’m scrubbin’ algae while I question my life
Pre-Chorus
Everybody says, “Man you’re livin’ the life”
Till you’re waist deep broke on a Saturday night
Chorus
Boats suck, yeah nobody tells ya
You buy a floating bill collector to impress her
Three hours drivin’ for one hour floatin’
Fuel gauge droppin’ while your wallet starts smokin’
And the girls that love guys with boats?
Brother that attention sinks faster than it floats
You ain’t Captain Morgan, you’re a mechanic with debt
Shoulda listened when my old friend said—
“The two best days are buyin’ it and sellin’ it”
Next summer man I ain’t trailerin’ it
I’d rather show up with sunscreen and ice
And just rent a boat next time
Verse 2
Then comes the boat ramp, seventh circle of hell
Guy jackknifed his trailer while his wife starts to yell
Twenty trucks lined up cookin’ in the heat
One dude backwards with his tires in the creek
Another guy revvin’ like he’s NASCAR bound
Whole boat sideways while we’re all standin’ around
Kids cryin’, dogs barkin’, everybody mad
A pontoon fight almost broke out with a dad
Pre-Chorus
Sun goin’ down and we ain’t even launched
I paid all this money just to sit here and watch?
Chorus
Boats suck, yeah nobody warns ya
You work all week just to fix the damn motor
Twenty grand spent for a Facebook photo
Then your anchor disappears and your stereo’s totaled
And the girls that love guys with boats?
Half the time they just want free rides and posts
Now I’m covered in grease while my friends all laugh
Holdin’ a wrench and a broken prop shaft
Nah I ain’t makin’ this mistake twice
I’d rather just rent a boat next time
Bridge
No winterizing
No dock fees
No dead batteries
No busted keys
No backing trailers while strangers judge me
No “BRO IT RAN FINE LAST WEEK” insanity
Final Chorus
Yeah boats suck, now I finally mean it
A floating money pit every season
One perfect sunset for a thousand dollar repair
And somehow there’s sand absolutely everywhere
So here’s my advice if you thinkin’ bout buyin’
Just find somebody else already cryin’
Bring a cooler, chip in for the gas
Leave before they ask you to help with the mast
Yeah freedom looks better when it ain’t your price
Buddy I’m just gonna rent a boat next time
