[Verse 1]
I was raised on folded hands
Low light
Lost in stained glass air
They said You’d meet me in the stillness
But all I ever met was my own fear
I’ve been shouting prayers at ceilings
’til my lungs turn sharp and blue
If You’re anywhere inside this quiet
Why does it never answer back like You?
[Chorus]
Are You quiet
Or just gone?
I’m choking on the space You left
I’m done pretending I belong
To a God who never wept
If this is how You choose to save me
Then why do I still feel enslaved?
I’m wrestling with empty heavens
And I’m the only one engraved
[Verse 2]
They say “trust
It’s just a season”
Like my blood is something mild
But my anger’s turning into gravel
In the throat of Your adopted child
If You’re love
Then why these fractures
Running circles through my head?
If You’re here
Then why’s Your silence
Louder than the thoughts I dread?
[Chorus]
Are You quiet
Or just gone?
I’m choking on the space You left
I’m done pretending I belong
To a God who never wept
If this is how You choose to save me
Then why do I still feel enslaved?
I’m wrestling with empty heavens
And I’m the only one engraved
[Bridge]
[soft
Almost whispered]
If I curse Your name
Will You finally speak?
If I tear down every altar
Will You call me weak?
[full band slams in
Screams answering each line]
I am not Your test (am I?)
I am not Your toy (am I?)
If You really built my heartbeat
Why’d You fill it up with void?
[Chorus]
Are You quiet
Or just gone?
I’m choking on the space You left
I’m done pretending I belong
To a God who never wept
If this is how You choose to save me
Then take this faith You never gave
I’ll scream into Your holy silence
’til my voice digs out a grave