Divided Heart by OGknox7 - Zona

Divided Heart by OGknox7 - Zona

Lyrics

[Intro - distant piano, reversed guitar swells, low ambient pad]

A light flickers in the hall

I whisper, Father, through the dark

And hear my own unsettled heart

[Verse 1 - palm-muted guitar, tight bass, restrained kick and snare]

I say I trust You, then I grip control

I sing of grace, then hide my soul

I kneel in need, then drift by noon

I beg for dawn, then love the moon

I hate the sin I still repeat

The same old chains, the same defeat

I call You Abba, still I run

Afraid of what Your love may undo

[Pre-Chorus - guitars open, toms rise, lead line swells]

I read the words and feel no fire

I try to pray, but just grow tired

I want a sign, a voice, a spark

While You keep asking for my heart

[Chorus - full distorted guitars, wide bass, crashing cymbals]

This divided heart keeps pulling me apart

I want Your will, but I protect my wants

I reach for grace with shaking hands

Then fear the cost of Your commands

If faith is more than how I feel

Then teach me how to stay here still

I'm still right here, ashamed and scarred

Trying to trust You with this divided heart

[Verse 2 - wider guitars, heavier bass movement, driving drums]

I see strong saints and shrink inside

Dress up my doubt and call it pride

I raise my hands while feeling numb

Smile in church, then come undone

I chase relief more than Your face

Use holy words to hide my state

Conviction cuts, condemnation shouts

And I can't always sort them out

[Pre-Chorus - guitars build higher, toms swell, lead climbs]

When life gets calm, I drift away

Then run back close on harder days

I say You're Lord, then choose my way

And wonder why I feel so far away

[Chorus - full distorted guitars, wide bass, crashing cymbals, layered vocal lift]

This divided heart keeps pulling me apart

I want Your peace, but cling to what I guard

I cry for help through shame and sin

Then build the walls right back again

If faith is trust when sight is gone

Then keep me when my strength is done

I'm still right here, though hope feels scarred

Trying to trust You with this divided heart

[Bridge - stripped piano, sub bass, sparse guitar texture]

Am I in love

Or just in need

Do I want You

Or just relief

Take my time

Take my plans

Teach my soul

To open its hands

[Breakdown - screamed wall of sound, crushing guitars, pounding drums]

I'm tired of failing

Tired of masks

Tired of promise

Without the acts

Not just my crisis

Not one more start

Take every minute

And break this heart

[Final Chorus - layered cleans, scream doubles, sustained lead melody]

This divided heart has war beneath its skin

I want You close, but fight You from within

I reach for mercy, fall again

Then beg You not to let this end

If You are Father, keep me near

In doubt, in dryness, dread, and fear

I'm still right here, though torn apart

Trying to trust You with this divided heart

[Outro - ringing harmonics, fading piano, long room reverb]

A light still flickers in the hall

I say, Father, through it all

And in the silence, still I call