[Intro – Spoken Drawl]
Well I woke up in a kiddie pool floatin’ through the yard,
Dog’s got my boot, my truck won’t start — it’s gettin’ real hard.
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[Verse 1 – Rap]
My wife ran off with a rodeo clown,
Took the trailer, left the hound — now I’m sleepin’ on the ground.
My cousin’s my neighbor and my best friend,
Got twelve kids and a mullet — that’s the redneck trend.
Beer can pyramid reachin’ the roof,
A raccoon stole my wallet and he flipped me the hoof.
Lost a fight to a goat, got banned from the bar,
Now I play air banjo in the back of my car.
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[Chorus – Sung, catchy hook]
I got the redneck blues, and a possum in my shoes,
The lawnmower’s broke, but it still hauls booze.
Tornado done danced with my double-wide view,
Now I’m sittin’ in the mud just howlin’ at the moon.
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[Verse 2 – Rap]
Grandma’s on the roof shootin’ at drones,
Grandpa’s grillin’ squirrels and smokin’ bones.
My ex keyed my truck with a pork chop bone,
And now I’m swipin’ on Tinder while I’m sittin’ alone.
Got a NASCAR tattoo on my left butt cheek,
Says “Dale Forever” — it’s startin’ to leak.
My cousin Earl’s got a pet skunk named Steve,
And it drives a scooter down our gravel street.
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[Chorus – Sung]
I got the redneck blues, and a possum in my shoes,
My rooster’s drunk and my fence is chewed.
Moonshine’s gone, but the memories ain’t few,
Like shotgun karaoke on a broke-down canoe.
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[Bridge – Spoken Word Breakdown]
Ain’t no therapy like duct tape and rage…
I married a woman named Tuesday, but divorced her by Thursday…
because she hated Monster trucks and biscuits… what kinda life is that?
⸻
[Final Chorus – Sung big and proud]
Yeah I got the redneck blues, my life’s all askew,
Got kicked outta Walmart for ridin’ a moose.
But I wear my dirt like a badge of truth —
‘Cause the redneck blues is my country proof!
Dead_Love_Drive
