Still up

lights off

and I’m still in motion

like my mind didn’t get the notice

party died but I feel it ghostin

in my chest like slow erosion

I hear echoes in the hallway

but nobody ever calls me

just the bass still in my body

like it never really lost me

⸻

I was there

I was gone

I was loud

now I’m off

feels like I been split in two

one version stay, one version move

one still dancing in the truth

one just staring at the roof

⸻

and I don’t know why it hit like this

one second high next second this

all that love in the atmosphere

now it’s silence when I disappear

I can feel the room still spinning

even though the lights stop grinning

every face I thought I knew

fades out when the sound cut through

⸻

after the party ends

it’s just me again

after the party ends

I don’t pretend

I been here before

but it feel brand new

like I never learned

how to come back to you

⸻

I’m floating in my apartment

talking to shadows in carpet

like maybe they got the answers

like maybe they know where my heart went

I hear my name in the static

but it don’t feel automatic

feels like memory collapsing

folding in on my habits

⸻

I tried to hold on to the moment

but the moment never owned it

it just passed through my fingers

like it wasn’t even coded

now I’m sitting in the afterglow

watching time move slow

and I swear I feel myself leaving

every time the room goes low

⸻

and I don’t know if I’m up or down

don’t know if I lost or found

all I know is when it gets this quiet

I can hear myself now

and it’s saying

you’re still here

you’re still here

you’re still here

but I don’t feel it clear

⸻

after the party ends

I’m on my own again

after the party ends

it’s just open ends

I thought I’d feel alive

but I feel like air

like I’m everywhere

and nowhere there

⸻

I remember lights in motion

smiles in slow devotion

now it’s just me and the ocean

of everything I don’t know holdin

and I swear I tried to stay in it

tried to make it more than a minute

but the higher that I go in it

the more I feel like I’m missing it

⸻

I don’t need the noise no more

don’t need the open door

I just need to sit with the silence

and let it tell me what I was for

⸻

after the party ends

it’s just me again

after the party ends

I don’t pretend

I been here before

but it feel brand new

like I never learned

how to come back to you