ATM Custodian Dave

[Verse 1]
David loved the coffee runs
Jokes in chat
And memes by noon
Then one day the boss came in
Said
"We’ve found your perfect tune"
Held a folder like a trophy
Eyes all wide
A little wild
"Your destiny is calling
Dave
Congrats
My golden child"
[Chorus]
Now he’s the ATM custodian
(what does that even mean?)
Guardian of blinking buttons
And an angry Friday queue on screen
Everyone thinks he loves this life
Like he was born to clear the jam
But deep down David’s just pretending
He’s Googling
"how to fix this… thing I am"
[Verse 2]
They handed him the tiny keys
Spoke in codes and acronyms
He just nodded like a pro
Tried to follow every whim
"Check the tray and then the feeder
Balance totals
Sign right there"
He was thinking 'bout his sandwich
While they lectured on repair
[Chorus]
Now he’s the ATM custodian
(king of cash and stress)
Single point of failure
Baby
For each late‑night balance check mess
Everyone swears he chose this path
Like he fought hard to lead the clan
But deep down David’s doing math like
"How fast can I transfer out this plan?"
[Bridge]
[Half‑time
Mock‑epic build]
He stands alone at 6 a.m
In that humming
Empty hall
Staring at a flashing message
That might as well be ancient drawl
He taps the side like it’s a pet
Whispers
"Buddy
Please be fine"
Then calls support and clears his throat
"Yes
Hello
This miracle’s not mine" (oh no)
[Chorus]
Still he’s the ATM custodian
(Signed for it in blue)
Master of the cardboard cash
And the "sir
It just ate my card" crew
Everyone cheers when it lights green
They high‑five him like he’s the man
But deep down David’s updating
His résumé to "anything but ATM"

Upbeat pop-rock with a tongue‑in‑cheek musical theater flair; bouncy piano and clean guitar chunks set up punchline lyrics, with tight male vocals and stacked gang shouts on the hook. Verses are lightly swung and narrative; chorus hits brighter with bright brass stabs and a walking bass feel. Brief half‑time breakdown before final chorus for a mock‑epic “hero moment.”, deep