The great cheeseburger heist

"Rocky Raccoon and My Cheeseburger"

(Verse 1)

It was a winding road on an autumn day,

Leaves were fallin’, blowin’ my cares away.

Had a hot cheeseburger, fresh off the grill,

One hand on the wheel, one lovin’ that meal.

I was missin’ my lady sittin’ right by my side,

Yellin’, "Slow down, baby, that ain’t no ride!"

But I hit that corner a little too fast,

Next thing I know, we’re slippin' on grass.

(Chorus)

Now we’re slide-slide-slidin’ down an old dirt hill,

Tree came up faster than a redneck’s still.

Airbags popped, and the world slowed down,

That’s when Rocky Raccoon came pokin’ around.

With a growl in his throat and a glint in his eye,

That bandit wanted my burger, no lie.

It’s man versus beast in the wreckage and dirt,

Fightin’ for a cheeseburger, ketchup on my shirt.

(Verse 2)

Now Rocky jumped in with a wild raccoon grin,

Actin’ like this crash was where his story begins.

My lady was screamin’ “Don’t you let him win!"

I’m swattin’ at fur, yellin’ “You ain’t gettin’ in!"

Rocky’s got rabies, or so it appears,

I’m throwin’ french fries like grenades in fear.

He’s scratchin’, he’s bitin’, we’re spinnin’ around,

It’s a backwoods rodeo, raccoon throwdown.

(Chorus)

Now we’re slide-slide-slidin’ down an old dirt hill,

Tree came up faster than a redneck’s still.

Airbags popped, and the world slowed down,

That’s when Rocky Raccoon came pokin’ around.

With a growl in his throat and a glint in his eye,

That bandit wanted my burger, no lie.

It’s man versus beast in the wreckage and dirt,

Fightin’ for a cheeseburger, ketchup on my shirt.

(Bridge)

Now some folks fight over money and pride,

Some chase love or a trophy bride.

But me? I fought tooth and nail that day…

Over a double bacon cheeseburger, and I’ll fight that way.

(Outro)

So if you’re drivin’ through the country, boy, you best beware,

There’s a burger-stealin' raccoon waitin’ out there.

And if you hear a growl from the passenger side,

Grip that burger tight, it’s gonna be a wild ride.

(Tag)

Yeah, it’s man versus beast in the wreckage and dirt,

All for a cheeseburger… and ketchup on my shirt.