Numb

I’m slowly shutting down again .My heart is turning cold and numb .I don’t want to reminisce on the past but the littlest thing triggers me .My mind isn’t safe .It’s like I can’t think straight .The demons are taking up space in my head telling me I’m better off dead .I still remember all the pain and trauma .The smell of blood on the floor .The taste of copper on my lips .My skin burning my flesh turning from brown to violet .So many unspoken words ,I wish I could let someone in ,but I don’t want to scare anyone away .I hold all the pain within and smile everyday like I’m okay .I’m slowly shutting down again .You treat my love like a sin .Am I not worthy .I give so much of me away .I try to save the day .I fight to survive some way .But when I’m drowning there’s nobody there for me .I screaming someone please save me .I’m turning numb again ,the demons are crowding my headspace .My tears want to escape but nowhere feels safe to shed .I tried to tell you but you wouldn’t listen .I’ve stayed past my welcome but for some reason every time I try to go away I end up stuck in this place .Trying to survive with no road to take .i feel so alone and empty inside .My lungs collapsing with every breath I take . I’m slowly shutting down again .My heart is turning cold and numb .I don’t want to reminisce on the past but the littlest thing triggers me .My mind isn’t safe .It’s like I can’t think straight .The demons are taking up space in my head telling me I’m better off dead .