Alone Comes Naturally

I stopped waiting for the footsteps.

Stopped listening for the door.

After long enough...

silence starts to feel like home.

I learned to sleep with the cold beside me,

Learned not to reach when nobody's there.

I stopped expecting someone to find me,

Stopped believing somebody would care.

I built these walls with my own two hands,

Brick by brick, night after night.

Now every time somebody gets close,

I disappear before they see inside.

Don't call it lonely.

Don't call it pain.

I've lived here so long

I don't know another way.

I'M USED TO BEING ALONE!

IT'S THE ONLY HOME I'VE KNOWN!

I DON'T NEED A HAND TO HOLD,

I'VE LEARNED TO CARRY MY OWN!

I'M USED TO THE SILENCE!

USED TO THE EMPTY ROOM!

WHEN EVERYBODY LEAVES YOU,

YOU LEARN TO LEAVE THEM FIRST!

I don't miss what I never had,

I don't mourn what I never knew.

But sometimes in the dead of night,

I wonder what it would feel like

if somebody stayed when I showed the truth.

So I keep my heart behind locked doors,

Keep my weakness buried underneath.

It's easier to be alone by choice

Than to let someone in

and watch them leave.

I DON'T NEED YOU!

I DON'T NEED ANYONE!

THAT'S WHAT I TELL MYSELF

WHEN THE NIGHT COMES DOWN!

I BUILT THESE WALLS!

I MADE THIS CAGE!

NOW I'M THE ONE

WHO'S AFRAID TO ESCAPE!

I'M USED TO BEING ALONE!

IT'S THE ONLY HOME I'VE KNOWN!

I DON'T NEED A HAND TO HOLD,

I'VE LEARNED TO CARRY MY OWN!

I'M USED TO THE SILENCE!

USED TO THE EMPTY ROOM!

WHEN EVERYBODY LEAVES YOU,

YOU LEARN TO LEAVE THEM FIRST!

Maybe I'm not heartless.

Maybe I'm just tired.

Maybe I built this distance

because I was terrified

of needing someone again.

SO IF YOU FIND ME—

DON'T TRY TO SAVE ME.

JUST SIT BESIDE ME.

DON'T WALK AWAY.

I'VE SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE

LEARNING HOW TO BE ALONE...

I'M USED TO BEING ALONE!

BUT MAYBE I DON'T HAVE TO BE!

I'VE CARRIED THIS WEIGHT SO LONG

I FORGOT WHAT IT MEANS TO BE FREE!

I'M USED TO THE SILENCE!

BUT I'M TIRED OF HEARING MY OWN!

MAYBE HOME WAS NEVER

A PLACE I HAD TO BUILD ALONE!

I'm still afraid of being left.

But for the first time...

I'm not sure

I want to be alone anymore.