[Verse 1]
Sunlight leaking through a half-closed shade
Medicine bottles on the nightstand, unpaid
Missed calls buzzing on a cracked screen table
I stare at the ceiling like I’m tied to the cable
Same hoodie three days, smell of last week’s smoke
Sink full of dishes like a running bad joke
Mama in my voicemail, "baby, where you been?"
I’m stuck in the doorway, can’t step back or step in
[Chorus]
Heavy head, heavy days on me
I’m walking with a storm I don’t let you see
You think I’m lazy, think I’m just spaced out
I’m fighting for my life just to make it off the couch
Heavy head, heavy days on me
If I say "I’m fine", that’s the mask you see
Tell me you believe me when I say I’m low
‘Cause getting out of bed is the hardest show
[Verse 2]
Therapist asking, "how you sleeping at night?"
I laugh a little crooked, "man, I sleep out of spite"
Racing mind running laps, heart stuck in first gear
I got friends in the group chat, still I’m alone here
Lost weight, gained weight, can’t trust these mirrors
They twist every flaw and they shout in my ears
I pray for a feeling that ain’t numb or in pain
Then I hate myself quiet when it all feels the same
[Bridge]
Some days I rise, some days I sink
Water on my face, still scared of the brink
If you see me vanish in the middle of the room
I’m wrestling with shadows you can’t assume
[whispered vocals] "Hold on, hold on"
[low vocal register] I repeat like a hymn
‘Cause the battle ain’t loud, it’s a war within
[Chorus]