What do I want

I spent my whole life chasing what I’m not

Trying to fit inside somebody else’s thoughts

Everybody telling me what I should be

But nobody ever asking what I need

I followed the rules, I followed the pain

I followed the voices inside my brain

But now I’m standing here at twenty-something years

Like, “why am I living off borrowed fears?”

I don’t wanna just survive my days

I wanna feel something real, something brave

I don’t wanna wake up filled with regret

Like I never really took a step

I’m tired of running from who I am

Just to be who they expect

What do I want?

I just wanna feel alive

What do I want?

A reason to wake up and try

I don’t wanna be perfect

I just wanna be me

Even if it’s scary

At least it’s free

What do I want?

I want peace in my head

What do I want?

To stop living in dread

I don’t wanna be fearless

I just wanna be strong

Strong enough to say

“This is where I belong”

I wanna love without feeling weak

I wanna talk and not overthink

I wanna stop holding my breath

Every time I get close to something good

I wanna build something I’m proud of

Not just something that looks enough

I wanna fail and still get back up

Without feeling like I’m not enough

I don’t need fame

I don’t need gold

I just wanna grow

Before I get old

I wanna look back and say I tried

Even if some dreams never came alive

I’m tired of letting fear decide

Who I’m allowed to be

What do I want?

I wanna live my life

Not just hide from the dark every night

I don’t need a blueprint

I don’t need control

I just need a path

That feels like home

What do I want?

I wanna believe

That I’m not too broken

To be happy

I don’t wanna be numb

I wanna feel

Even if it hurts

At least it’s real

Maybe I don’t have all the answers

Maybe that’s okay

Maybe finding what I want

Is the point of the way

Maybe I don’t need to be fearless

I just need to be brave

Long enough to take a step

In a different direction

What do I want?

I want a life I can love

What do I want?

More truth and less “enough”

I don’t wanna be perfect

I just wanna be whole

I just wanna feel

Like I finally know

What do I want?

I want to be me

Not the version fear made me be

I don’t need to have it all done

I just need to finally choose

What I want