Surviving Out of Spite

Name: Surviving Out of Spite
Duration: 216 s
Manublueeyes
112 plays·0 likes·3:36
Prompt / Lyrics
[Verse 1]
So, I’m turning twenty-one—it’s a miracle, I guess
Considering at fifteen, life was just a bloody mess.
I spent my girlhood playing bodyguard and dodging lead
Now I’m wondering if I’m "healed" or just really good at being dead.
I grew up in a hurry, skipped the part where I was fun
Now I’m an ancient soul in a body that’s barely begun.
I’m like a vintage haunted doll, cracked and slightly cursed
But hey, I’m still standing—and I’ve definitely seen the worst.

[Pre-Chorus]
I’m a mystery to my therapist, a headache to my past
I’m the "final girl" in a movie that was never meant to last.
I’m hurt? Oh, absolutely. Am I showing it? No way.
I’ve got too many things to do and bills I have to pay.

[Chorus]
How am I still alive? It’s honestly a joke
I should’ve vanished years ago in a puff of silver smoke.
But I’m fighting for a life I’m not even sure I know
Watching my mother choose a man and letting the daughter go.
I’m surviving out of spite, I’m living just to see
What happens when the "broken girl" becomes the "finally free."

[Verse 2]
I’m trying to be normal, trying to buy some bread
Without thinking ‘bout the night he put a target on my head.
I’m 20-going-on-80, with a trauma-flavored tea
Trying to remember how to breathe without a guarantee.
My mother’s got her "romance," I’ve got a thousand-yard stare
But I look great in black, so I guess we’re almost there.
I’m the middle child of chaos, the one who didn't quit
And if that’s not a "dark aesthetic," I don't know what is it.

[Bridge]
(Tempo picks up, slightly chaotic and jazz-infused)
Step one: Don't die. (Check.)
Step two: Don't cry. (Well, maybe just a lie.)
Step three: Watch the sister and the brother and the cat
Step four: Wonder how I’m still a person after all of that.
I’m a masterpiece of "Nevermind, I’m fine"
Drinking expensive coffee to ignore the fault lines.

[Chorus]
How am I still alive? It’s honestly a joke
I should’ve vanished years ago in a puff of silver smoke.
But I’m fighting for a life I’m not even sure I know
Watching my mother choose a man and letting the daughter go.
I’m surviving out of spite, I’m living just to see
What happens when the "broken girl" becomes the "finally free."

[Outro]
(Music slows down to a single, cheeky bass line)
Twenty-one is coming.
Hope they have cake in the afterlife... wait, I’m still here.
Guess I'll just have it now.
I’m alive.
How annoying for the ghosts.
(A soft, dark chuckle)