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This is the life I’ve been Livin

I was born in heaven

This was my fate from the beginnin

I tried to hide inside my mothers womb for later dates,

It’s not my fault

I was forced upon this place,

The early years were pleasant,

My adolescence

Was filled with gods blessings,

There was no need for stressing,

In elementary discussions started getting louder,

They tried to explain how their relationship had soured

I was too young to understand how love died,

I just remember the whole time, I just cried.

Their telling me this disease is hereditary

That means my futures outlook is very scary

So I look to heaven and hope somebody’s caring

It’s difficult dealing with an alcoholic parent

I blamed my mother for leaving cuz I was selfish,

I was blind to everything that she had dealt with

I had thought my father had all the answers that I needed,

he feeded me with propaganda

That was seeded Inside my soul and the hatred ate away at me

I thought the 2 of us would be the perfect family,

But actually he was suffering secretly from a disease I misunderstood until recently

I was 10 years old I didn’t know what to do

So I acted like nothing wrong and lied about the truth

I was so confused you were my only role model

I can rewind my youth and write a whole novel

I used to hate it when you'd leave and say you'd be right back, cause hours later, you'd show up like nothing happened

I didn't know that your sickness was so serious, something’s fishy, I remember being curious.

Hundred dollar bundles in your dresser drawers,

waking up at night

you'd be passed out on the floor. I know it was a crushing blow, when the bank foreclosed, through the highs and lows, your love had always shown. But I can't condone the way you let it go, so many birthdays passed and you couldn’t hit my phone?

Their telling me this disease is hereditary

That means my futures outlook is very scary

So I look to heaven and hope somebody’s caring

It’s difficult dealing with an alcoholic parent

You need to drink water to treat dehydration, your actions placed you in incarceration. The bond we had that was so tightly woven, began to separate the stress that made it broken. I was hoping it just might be over, but then you die and try to act clean and sober. I was tired of the stupid games, and I hated you for bringing me all this pain. grandma even tried to help, but all you did is blame everyone besides yourself.I watched you rise to the top, then hit rock bottom, living on the streets then watch you fall like autumn, Ten years passed and you still did not recover, you don't know how difficult I made things for my mother. I just can't blame her for everything you did, but I can learn from the hectic life you lived. I was devastated when I found out you died, I had taken time for granted while you're still alive. your heart finally had enough , I hope you realize that I miss you very much