heavier imagery, deeper pain, more depression + anxiety + internal violence) What’s it like now… bein’ me? No sunlight gets in — not really — not where I sleep. What’s it like to wake up… and be meee…? It’s a coooold… and haaauuunted… fairy-taaaale dreeeaaam… Like a story that was written just to watch me bleed, Like the page flips back to the worst part on repeat. Every mornin’ I’m fallin’, can’t hear my own screeeaam, Weeaaak… tears… shaake… till my bones wanna breaaak… And you look at me like I’m fine — but you don’t hear the war inside my spine. “…I don’t wanna die… I just wanna feel alivvve again…” But it echoes like a prayer in a room where I can’t win. So what’s it like? …I’ll stop lyin’. It’s a hollow kinda feelin’ that drags me from my sleep, A depression so heavy the floorboards underneath me creak. It’s confessions with the mirror till my heartbeat stutters, Anxiety crawlin’ through my ribs like it’s cuttin’ through the shutters. Nah, I’m messin’ — It ain’t lyrical or clever, it’s a hole that never heals, It’s a suicidal-homicidal pressure that I swallow but still feel. Not killin’ nobody — just the ghosts that drag me back to the west end of my mind, where every memory stalks me like a shadow left behind. He thought he was playin’ — but I’m still payin’ for moments that weren’t even mine, yet I’m the one decayin’. It’s deeper than a vendetta — it’s a rot in my chest, It’s the rage of every silence that I never laid to rest. A punch that never landed but it cracks me in my sleep, A war that never happened but I carry every piece. It’s a storm in my skull I can’t outrun, Every heartbeat’s a warning that I’m comin’ undone. Every breath feels borrowed, like it doesn’t belong, Like I’m trapped in a life that keeps rewinding wrong. It’s the ache, it’s the shake, it’s the frost in my bones, It’s the tears that won’t fall ’cause I’m colder than stone. It’s the scream in my lungs that I swallow back down, And the fear that I’ll drown without makin’ a sound. It’s the nightmare of livin’ in a place I can’t leave, A life stitched together with traumas I can’t grieve. It’s the ache of tomorrow that feels just like today, And the hope I once had slowly slippin’ away…

Untitled