Meant To Be Alone For Christmas

Had my plans set

Silent phone

One plate

One chair

Told myself it’s fine

Guess I got used to “not there”

Wrapped my fear up

In jokes about being tough

Under all that tinsel

I was begging for enough

Then you texted

“Hey

Where are you?”

Like it mattered if I came through

Didn’t know a simple “come by”

Could crack this guarded sky

Thought I was meant to be alone for Christmas

Watching other people’s joy from the outside

Looking in

Then you pulled up one more chair at your table

Said

“You’re ours

That’s it” and I finally believed it

I’m not your blood but I’m your home

You turned this season into my own

Thought I was meant to be alone for Christmas

Till you loved me like I’d always belonged

Kids all screaming

Burnt pie

Card games

Someone sings off key

Ugly sweaters

But every color looks good on me

You learned my stories

Passed me gravy

Laughed at all my lines

Took my cracked parts

Hung ‘em up and made them shine

All the ghosts that used to sit

In the empty seat I’d keep

Faded out beneath your lights

As you saved a place for me

They might share my name

But they never learned my heart

You stitched one out of paper crowns

Peppermint

And second starts

You said

“Stay late

Stay longer

Stay whenever life gets hard”

Every “stay” rewrote December

On my tired

Torn-up heart